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[versusnurture]

[Abigail knows, now, that it's only a matter of time. He's been allowed into the kitchen. He won't show his true face, but one way or another, he'll start working on people. Ripping them apart, one way or another. Making them see too much of themselves until they eat themselves up from the inside, or worse. And she doesn't know, even now, if she wants to help him or if she wants to run.]

[She's tired of being prey, tired of being helpless, tired of being alone and crazy, and most of all she doesn't want people to know - so why has she been telling them? Why did she tell Arkin, why did she let Zane find out? Why is Ben, who has power, letting this happen?]

[She is afraid, so she ties a bright blue scarf around her neck and makes deliberate appearances in several common rooms, the cafeteria, the greenhouse, and the library, a copy of Jane Eyre tucked under her arm. She's quiet when it's appropriate, polite or even chatty when someone approaches her. But there's something not quite right about the set of her smile, to those who know her very well or look very closely, and her heart beats like a rabbit's every time she sees someone new.]

for ben } thursday

[After Riddick finds her, Abigail thinks about the situation for a while. No, she doesn't trust Ben. She doesn't really trust anyone. But Riddick had at least one point: he seems to have decent motives. He seems to care. And maybe that means she's going about this all wrong. Maybe he's more Will than Hannibal. Or like Alana, even: smart and capable but with a part of him that can't see through what Abigail holds on the outside.]

[He has trouble, she knows, with touch. But he's sweet anyway. He cares.]

[She waits for him outside the kitchen, when his shift is over, hands twisting in the hem of her shirt, eyes on the floor.]

Comments

[halftheman]

You don't get a lot of plumbers looking to work the infirmary.

[ He calls her on it, there. Because it's about time that story got put to rest. He's slowly figured out something's up between them, watched them as much as Hannibal has certainly watched Abigail and Harvey talk. ]

But they were right. You are smart.

[versusnurture]

No, you don't.

[Beyond that, she doesn't offer anything further. He can figure it out himself.]

Thanks. I wish I could've gone to college. I would've made a good psychologist.

[halftheman]

[ He's got his answer. Not her father. Either a groomer, or her killer. Got a regular Harleen Quinzel in the making. ]

Well, they got that barge-- schooling. Pretty sure if you expressed as desire to learn, someone would teach you.

[versusnurture]

It would be boring.

I'm not saying that to be arrogant. They didn't have classes at the level I needed by senior year.

[halftheman]

No? Experts in a hundred fields, inmate and warden both. Someone here must be able to teach you something you want to know about, that'll keep your brain from rotting while you sit through a lesson.

[ He reached into his pocket-- cigarettes this time, lighter, despite the no smoking ban in the library. He ignored it often enough, though he didn't light up yet. ]

Or are you looking for skills they don't normally teach inmates?

[versusnurture]

I'm looking for all kinds of skills. But I was on my way to college, you know? Before I died. For psychology. I wanted to skip undergraduate, but they don't let you do that.

I don't trust psychologists much for teaching, though.

[halftheman]

You don't get to skip, no. [ He chuckles, just a little, at that. ] Mmm. You learn from experts in their fields. I know the saying 'those who can't, teach', but it's not true a lot of the time.

I taught.

[versusnurture]

You did both.

[For a while, she doesn't have to say.]

You're smart, too. I think maybe people forget that, looking at you now. [Which is the first time she's really acknowledged his appearance, she's pretty sure. It's a fact, but not a particularly important one from her perspective, beyond the experience it gave him.]

[halftheman]

I did. I liked teaching. Helped Fields through through Law School. Tutored him. Saw he had talent, just not courage.

[ He gestured at his face. ]

He paid me back with this. One of my best friends, deep in the mob pocket. I had no idea. Guess he never did find his spine.

[versusnurture]

Can you be brave - courageous - and be afraid at the same time?

[She's surprised to realize that she's legitimately asking him for advice.]

[halftheman]

Of course. There's the old saying; courage isn't bravery without fear, it's bravery in the face of fear. [ and he means it. Harvey does, at least; Two-Face coughs once, bubbling up to offer: ]

For all the good it can do you.

Vernon never found his spine. Just got deeper and deeper in a mob pocket. We found ours, though. He begged us for his life. So we took it. He was pathetic. He deserved what he got. He died sniveling on his knees, lickspittle to the end.

[ And there was not an ounce of remorse to be had. ]

[ A blink, and Harvey is back, though, and he swallows. Two-Face is rough on the vocal cords. ]

Doesn't make what I said any less true.

[versusnurture]

[The mean-and-sharp part of her draws itself to attention when Two-Face comes out; she recognizes him immediately, from the signs that Harvey told her about and from something primal that both fears and appreciates violence. She listens to him carefully, nods farewell when he recedes.]

He wasn't brave. [She wonders if it's just Two-Face who doesn't regret killing him, or if it's both of them. She sort of hopes it's both. She'd kill Hannibal like that if she could, oh yes (or would she, the traitorous part of herself whispers, the realistic part).]

Thank you. Courage is important if you wield it right.

Would you like to get some water? It sounds like that hurts.

[halftheman]

[ Harvey chuckles. ]

No, I'm alright. He's a pain I've learned to live with. Besides, if the smoking hasn't rotted my throat, he won't. He just enjoys his pathos and drama. But that we share, I suppose.

Can't be a lawyer and not enjoy your part in the theater.

[ He knows Two-Face can -- and will -- speak like him when it serves his purpose. He just likes to be mean, loud and angry most of the time. ]

[versusnurture]

Most interesting people enjoy pathos and drama.

[Said very seriously - then her lips twitch into an impish little smile. Or else get taken in by it. Oh, yes, they do.]

[halftheman]

[ It's very rare for Harvey to smile; for the man that was to exist at all, really. To take anything but grim humor and indulge in his deepest madness. But he does it now; it only moves half his face, really, but it's there; crows feet at the corner of his eye, a tug of his lips upward on the right. Brief, but there. ]

A little is good for the soul, yes.

[versusnurture]

[There: for a moment, he looks like a man and not a monster. She likes this moment. Hannibal has always looked like a man, but inside - well. It's a very complicated situation all around.]

[Really, right now, it's just nice to make someone smile without having any particular reason to do so.]

A dash. But never too much.

[halftheman]

Too much is messy. Then it becomes less theater, more flash mob.

[ Not that he hasn't use for that, too. It's just not something he chases. ]

Can I ask what has you afraid?