seventeen ♢ video

[versusnurture]

I have a question.

Maybe it's a weird question. [Not that all of her questions aren't weird. But.]

If you have a quality you want to accentuate, that you want people to notice. With hair or jewelry or things like that. How do you do it? Because.

[She pulls her hair back away from the right side of her neck to reveal a pale scar, horizontal, reaching almost halfway around. It's not a totally unknown sight since she stopped wearing her scarves, but it's not something she's been showing off, either, not exactly.]

I'm sick of hiding it.

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[outofclothes]

[Abigail, please. The most that legality comment is gong to get is a slight roll of the eyes, but okay. Touché.]

Normal was never really in the cards for me. But even if it was? Nah.

The way I see it, these scars are who I am, where I come from, what I survived. That makes other people uncomfortable because they'd much rather go through their whole lives with the wool pulled over their eyes.

[Stark never ceases to be amazed at the things people will rationalize to keep their fragile little world held together because they don't want to and refuse to face facts.]

But that's not my problem. That's their problem. I've accepted who and what I am. [Maybe to a limited extent. It might be a little generous to say that much. But for Stark, he has. He knows what he is. He hates it. But he doesn't bother trying to change it all that much either.] Other people can get with the program or they can fuck off.

[versusnurture]

And do they? Fuck off.

[Do you get left alone when you need people nearby, she wants to ask, or do you drive them off with your scars, or do you drive them off in other ways, or do you cling to them too hard until they break in your grip? She could easily do any of that.]

[outofclothes]

[The answer to all those questions is an overwhelming and cacophonous yes. But she doesn't ask, so that's not what Stark answers.]

The ones that aren't worth it do.

[versusnurture]

And you just . . . keep going.

[She marvels at this sort of independence.]

[outofclothes]

Well, that sure as hell beats the alternative, don't you think?

[Someone should award him a gold star given how much into the alternative he was months ago. Though he sometimes does have his off days and the alternative sounds better, he's trying out this whole not being an ungrateful prick thing.]

[He doesn't want Vin yell at him.]

[versusnurture]

Yeah. Yeah, it does.

[She takes a deep breath, then shrugs. Like it's no big thing.]

That's part of why I don't want to hide anymore. But I'm so used to it.

[outofclothes]

Well, I'll be honest with you, Dorothy, there's no clicking your heels and having all your dreams come true just because you decided to stop hiding. You're never gonna really know if this is who you are or what you were made into.

[She'll probably even have days where she's not sure if that's who she is at all, but she probably doesn't need to be told that to know it.]

But what you can do is make it yours. In whatever fucking way you want to. Or you can run from it.

Those are really your only two options as far as surviving is concerned.

[versusnurture]

I'm sick of running.

[That and she's tired. Her feet are bleeding on the road behind her. She's half-dead.]

[More than being sick of running, she doesn't think she can anymore. She'd rather turn and face the beast, whatever it is.]

[outofclothes]

Then don't. It's simple as that.

You don't need bells and whistles to attract attention to it or accentuate it or whatever the hell you want to call it. The simple fact that it's there, that you're not making a big deal out of it?

People will look all by themselves.