[The trouble is she doesn't know. She doesn't know, she doesn't understand what this means, for her or for Ben or for Hannibal himself. It's been a long time since she trusted Hannibal implicitly, a long time since she saw him as anything but complicated and dangerous, long since she knew on some level that he would hurt her - that her only chance of staying not only alive but safe and relatively sound was to do exactly as he said.]
[That he's here is both a good thing and a terrible thing. If he hadn't been here, she could have been free. Now, though, she feels secure. A distant part of her recognizes this as terrible, but it is very distant, almost deliberately so.]
[More immediate is Ben's presence, the feel of synthetic fur under her fingers. She swallows.]
I don't . . .
[Doesn't know what to say to this, doesn't know how to respond in a way that makes him happy, doesn't know if she's happy. All she knows is this is what she's used to. In a way, it's what seems right.]
Please don't hurt him.
[The answer comes seemingly out of nowhere. She looks surprised to have said it. But once it's out, once she's examined it for a moment, she realizes it's the only true and genuine response she can give right now. She vaguely remembers that last time she was here, she wanted to hurt him. Maybe she will again. But all she knows for sure right now is that whatever happens to him, good or bad, she wants to do it.]
no subject
[That he's here is both a good thing and a terrible thing. If he hadn't been here, she could have been free. Now, though, she feels secure. A distant part of her recognizes this as terrible, but it is very distant, almost deliberately so.]
[More immediate is Ben's presence, the feel of synthetic fur under her fingers. She swallows.]
I don't . . .
[Doesn't know what to say to this, doesn't know how to respond in a way that makes him happy, doesn't know if she's happy. All she knows is this is what she's used to. In a way, it's what seems right.]
Please don't hurt him.
[The answer comes seemingly out of nowhere. She looks surprised to have said it. But once it's out, once she's examined it for a moment, she realizes it's the only true and genuine response she can give right now. She vaguely remembers that last time she was here, she wanted to hurt him. Maybe she will again. But all she knows for sure right now is that whatever happens to him, good or bad, she wants to do it.]