twenty-eight ♢ spam & video ( cw: tooth squick )

[versusnurture]

spam } infirmary

[Before the pain hits, in that brief insensible moment after waking, she feels a stab of pride. She did it. She got him. She didn't win, but she fought back against the implacable, impossible, eternal enemy. She silenced him - if only for a moment, she silenced him.]

[It's after that that the pain hits, her head aching impossibly. She wants to die, laughs silently when she recognizes the irony. It feels as though she's cracking in half from her skull down.]

[But even the pain can't distract her from panic for long. While she was dead, it must have gotten worse. It creeps back up her throat before she knows it's there to push back down, her heart beating a hard tattoo in her chest as she sees-- hears-- smells red blood on her hands and the fur of the beast.]

[There is a man in the corner of the room. He breathes in and out. She can hear him speaking, one word only: "See." She can see his chest moving. She can smell blood on his teeth like he's breathing in her face.]

[She sits on her cot, staring at nothing, shivering helplessly, her throat as dry as the deadest desert.]

video

[It's later that the knives sprout. Thirty-two little monster teeth, each with a metal serrated edge, each curved just slightly, making their way into her mouth after pushing her old teeth bloody onto the pure white sheet.]

[They don't distract her as much as they should, though they cut her tongue up something wicked. She has questions - but she can't speak.]

[So in video she turns on a smile, her knife-teeth fitting together like perfect dentures, and holds up a small whiteboard.]

[It says, WHO ELSE CAN SEE HIM?]

Comments

[versusnurture]

[That's the deciding factor. Whatever part of her was waffling on whether or not to like him decides now: he's a good person, or at least a good person by her standards. She smiles at him, all soft gratitude.]

Thank you.

[thelastbullet]

[He doesn't smile back, but he nods at her, almost solemnly.]

I'll see you around, Abigail.

[warisart]

[The problem with this plan is, of course, that he must now speak. Knowing what to say feels like trying to breathe while pinching his nose closed, not the least because he knows what to say, he knows what to do, but it's been so long since he felt like the boy with the stories that he's not sure they're within his reach now.

She reaches out blindly and he catches her hand; she trusts him to speak, and so he must speak.]

There was a girl who kept time like grains of sand in a bottle. She had a very deft hand with pouring the time, was capable of tilting out just one grain at a time, and in this manner could make an hour or a day or a week pass as quickly or as slowly as she pleased. She could not remember why she was given this bottle and this privilege, merely that she had always had it. Others were at the mercy of time, but not the girl. Time was at the mercy of her.

[versusnurture]

[She imagines time being at her mercy. It's a far cry from the way the past haunts her at every turn, now, and the thought brings a smile to her face. She doesn't open her eyes, doesn't twitch but to squeeze Ben's hand to let him know that she's still listening, still working hard to keep calm.]

[warisart]

[Ben, watching, sees the smile, feels the pressure around his fingers. He mustn't stop.

He mustn't stop but there's nothing there when he reaches for the next part of the story, like missing a stair in the dark, like leaning against a wall that gives. He licks his lips.]

She... she... lived with a creature that drank time like water. It needed it to survive, and she made sure that it never wanted for what it needed, though she could no longer remember why. She could withhold time's passage from herself if she so desired, but not from the creature, and so she had to watch as the creature aged, died, and was reborn again under her hand.

She loved the creature, but she was afraid for it, afraid for what would happen the day it was not reborn, afraid for the day she was too afraid of this and held back time for it anyway.

[versusnurture]

[Her brow wrinkles with displeasure. This is not where she wanted the story to go; she feels her heart aching in fear, for the girl, for the creature, for the love that they shared. It would be awful to be that girl, to feel that much pain over and over again, without any hope of cessation.]

What did she do?

[warisart]

...She threw away the bottle.

[And just like that he is sure of himself again; not of the story, not for where it is going, because he never really is. He just opens his mouth and speaks, and whatever words are born are what they are.

A small correction, though, a moment later:] She broke the bottle, and let time scatter as it would. It fell in waves and crests everywhere on the ground, well within the creature's reach should it find itself wanting, but she did not want to be the one responsible for it anymore.

Which is when it happened: to her perception, the creature no longer aged. This was not, of course, the case: the creature still aged. But she aged with it and so she did not notice until one day it laid down and sighed its last breath and she realized - she realized that she had been aging with it.

And the next morning it rose up again, just as it always had. And she loved it, just as she always had.

And it loved her, not as it always had, but more - because she made herself like it, and it no longer feared that one day, it would not be able to rise again to greet her.

[versusnurture]

[It's the first time she's heard Ben change a story in the middle. Admittedly it's not a big change, but it makes her frown, worried about him. Worried about what this means.]

[Afterwards the story moves smoothly, though, and she brightens, even opening her eyes to smile at him.]

Did she die, too? Did she die with the creature?

[warisart]

[When she opens her eyes, Ben's are there to greet her, not as calm as he has been in days past but still unwavering, as though he is steady as long as he keeps her in sight.

That is exactly the case. He is capable because she needs him to be. He is strong enough because it is necessary.]

She did, eventually. She could not hold time back from herself any more.

But when that day came, they were both happy: the girl and the creature.

They were both freed by her decision.

[versusnurture]

[She, in turn, continues getting stronger because he is there to be strong for her. She believes in herself, on the occasions that she does, because he believes in her. It's a circular logic, but one that works for them.]

[Her smile grows wider when at last she understands. They were both freed.]

[She squeezes his hand.]

Freedom is so important. [For the both of them.]

[warisart]

[Ben is watching for it, searching for it, the moment when she relaxes. Or not particularly relaxes so much as becomes more comfortable in the place that she is in, rather than striving - yet - for a different one.

He nods.]

It is.

Can you rest now, do you think?

[versusnurture]

[She can still see him out of the corner of her eye, but she thinks - probably - she can rest. She can sleep.]

[Slowly, she lets go of his hand and blinks up at him, head cocked thoughtfully.]

Will you stay until I fall asleep?

[warisart]

Of course.

[The answer is easy, immediate, solid.

He smiles a little, not tentative but not broad.]

I will stay as long as you like. As long as I can.

[A lot is happening with the ship right now and he can't promise he won't be called away if she doesn't need him, but he has no higher priority than her safety and well being.]