versusnurture | third ♢ filters & voice

Junko was. Completely, stark raving topsy-turvey psychopathic.

[Anya is one part bitter and two parts fond.]

You just missed her, I'm afraid.

I'm sorry to hear that.

[She actually kind of is.]

But you're not?

[She was definitely entertaining. Anya shakes her head.]

I'm sane. I've had issues, but never what-is-reality issues.

Anybody else I should be on the lookout for?

[This sounds like a joke. It is not even a little bit of a joke.]

This is the thing about the barge: it's mostly not about who to watch out for. You have to worry about the barge itself. Because every few weeks, we get shaken up like a bunch of dice in a yahtzee cup, and nobody knows what score is going to fall out.

Sometimes it's amazing. And sometimes your friends, sometimes wardens and heroes and the strongest, kindest people you'll ever meet will turn around and beak you over their knee.

And there's not a lot you can do to protect yourself from that. Although I do recommend stocking your room with bottled water and non-perishable food and a bucket. It usually only lasts a few days, sometimes you can ride out the bad ones.

[Private]

I see you've met Harvey already. I don't know how much he's told you about Two-Face, but that side of him has tortured kids who pissed him off here, targeted people they cared about. I'm not saying you have to avoid him - they were boys, they were stupid and I don't think you are. But you should know that.

Zane is homicidal when he loses control. It's happened once so far and he tries not to. He's a good friend if you can keep him.

Touko Fukawa also has a murderous split personality, also mostly targets boys.

Alpha, he's the blond guy who works in the pub, he's actually got maybe a dozen personalities, Davy Jones, the guy with the squid face, and Victor Creed have all murdered people just for being in their way or because they felt like it, and and fairly recently.

Arthas Menethil - built like a brick wall in medieval armor, grey in the face because he's a zombie - is dangerous but these days he mostly keeps to himself if you don't bother him. Sylvanas Windrunner - pointy ears, same pallor, weird sexy armor - killed her warden a while ago, but she also probably won't go after you without a reason.

I'll remember that. Like a bomb shelter, only the bomb is everyone.

[private]

[She digests all this. Harvey she knew about. Zane she knew about, although she questions the 'good friend' part. Touko has told her vague things, but this makes sense, so Anya's telling the truth about those three at the very least. Alpha, Jones, Creed, Arthas, Sylvanas are all new.]

[She makes a quiet sound of acknowledgment.]

Why are you telling me this?

Something like that. Take care.

[Private]

Because...it's what I would've wanted someone to tell me, nine months ago. I think maybe you're asking for some of the same reasons.

What were your reasons?

[She doesn't trust any of this.]

I don't have any powers, but I grew up around a lot of people who did. Knowing what was going on, and what people were like, that was the closest I had to a way to keep myself safe. I think maybe that's true for a lot of girls, whatever kind of world their from.

You don't have to tell me if I'm right or not.

. . . You are.

So you have to know I don't believe you.

You don't trust me.

[She smiles, soft and wry.]

Which is different. You'll do your best to confirm it yourself, because that's how we operate. But you'll be careful of them while you do. And maybe that will help. Maybe you would have been fine anyway. But it's something.

It'd be stupid to discard information just because you don't trust the source.

Why are you just talking to me now, if you think we're so similar? Was this just the right opening?

Exactly.

[She'll use it; Anya's satisfied with that for now.]

Partly that. Partly because the way you asked helped convince me we're similar. Lots of people aren't what they seem, the first post or two.

Partly because I'm bad at comforting new arrivals.

'How many of you think you're insane,' not 'how many of you are insane'.

[It's an important distinction.]

Lots of people aren't ever what they seem.

Yes.

['How many of you are insane' is too blunt, too confrontational. Make it about people's opinions of themselves and they can't wait to talk.]

There are threats here I won't have seen yet, because they've kept it up who knows how long. Obviously. But the point is, I don't usually talk to people right away.

You get the measure of them first, if you can. Then talk, if it's safe.

[A moment's pause.]

Or if it's interesting enough to be worth the risk.

If I think we'd have worthwhile conversations.

I don't worry much about the risk of death, anymore. Some people find it traumatic every time, but for me - it's unpleasant and inconvenient, and it would upset people who care about me, but it doesn't scare me.

There are other kinds of risks.

There are.

[This gets a small smile, thinking of Junko again; definitely in the 'interesting enough to risk it' category, at least some of the time.]

Fewer people here present those then you'd imagine, at least when everybody is themselves. But that sort of thing is harder to pin down, I suppose.

It's harder, but it's worth it, when you can.

The Marquis de Carabas - he calls himself that. He likes to get people indebted.

[She likes him anyway. Their acquaintanceship is very casual, and she's fine with that.]

We've lost...several creative types during my tenure. There are probably a few more by now, but.

[She spreads her hands. They're quiet enough that she hasn't been able to confirm any of her suspicions yet.]

Sorry.

You . . . don't have to apologize.

Thank you. If you mean it, then thanks.

Well, there's never any harm in being polite.

[She nods, but doesn't say 'you're welcome' - that would feel presumptuous somehow, given the conditions she set, almost smarmy.]

Good luck, Abigail.

. . . Good luck.

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