seventh ♢ private + spam

[versusnurture]

private, thursday } ben

[She wasn't lying or exaggerating or being overdramatic: she meant what she said. To Ben, and to everyone. She needed time. She did understand, does understand, the differences between there and here. She knows that Ben is on her side.]

[It's just that she needed time to remember the Ben who came before the one who let other people hurt her, the Ben who is kind and doesn't like being called a good person. She remembers him now. And, true to her word, she gets in touch.]

[The video clicks on to reveal her on her bed. Everything is tidied now, a good indication that she is at least stable, if not necessarily stable in a good place. She's holding the teddy bear he gave her, making it kick its little feet.]

I bet you've never carved a pumpkin before.

spam, saturday } nathan

[Abigail doesn't realize she's affected. Not yet. After this, she's going to go hole up in her room and pretend she's invisible until the urge to be super super nice goes away. But for the moment, she's going to do her job.]

[Which, right now, means re-organizing everything that exists in the art room. All the paintbrushes go in cups by order of size. She finds herself thinking fondly and only fondly of Hannibal, for the first time in a month, of the way he keeps things perfectly tidy, and wonders if he would be proud of the work that she's doing here. The oddness of that thought doesn't occur to her.]

[Whenever Nathan shows up for his shift, or she happens to notice him, she gives him one of her brightest and most genuine smiles, the kind she ordinarily saves for the known-as-damaged, for Harvey or Ben or Arkin. For Elena.]

Hi.

Comments

[neuropathy]

[ There are two factors at work here: one, sometimes Nathan's jokes just ...are that bad, and two, more or less significantly depending on where a person is standing, his only real experience in interacting with anyone Abigail's age is in work; he doesn't have, for instance, young cousins as an example of what protocols to follow. Ergo he goes with what he knows, and what that tells him is that in relation to anyone smaller and more vulnerable - by virtue of age, size, vested authority, all those quantifiers ultimately meaningless and yet swimming large - it's his responsibility to put at ease what he can. Sometimes that means telling bad jokes. It doesn't really put them on an even keel, can't, but--it's an effort that direction.

He sticks his hands in his pockets, shrugs in a way that makes his shoulders smaller. ]

Just gettin' my bearings. Jesse'll be back when he's better.

[versusnurture]

[At a different time in this same place, with this same man talking to her in the same way, Abigail would be suspicious. She will, in fact, be suspicious later. Will assume the worst. Men who manipulate their words and posture to gain her trust are not to be trusted.]

[This is both a double standard and not. She manipulates her words and posture to gain trust. But then, she's also been hurt enough times by comforting men who lie that she wouldn't care about double standards even if she could see them.]

[This is her right.]

[For now, she's imbued with something along the lines of inability to mistrust - which could be dangerous in the long run, but in the long run she'll realize what's happening and retreat to her room. Instead of which, she just purses her lips at Nathan and nods demurely.]

Then I am in charge.

Did you volunteer or just sort of get stuck with it? [A pause, and then, low and conspiratorially:] You can say you got stuck with it if you did, you know. I'm not really a fan of art therapy if you want the truth.

[neuropathy]

[ Nathan lowers his tone to match hers, stooping slightly so their heights are closer, but not actually moving nearer to her. ]

Well, if you want the truth--

[ Dun dun dun. ]

Nah, I asked for it. Not art--therapy, 's not really my area, just art. [ He shrugs, and if this were active manipulation it would be quite a feat of 'aw shucks, ma'am,' but it's actually just this hard to articulate. There's a reason talking effectively about art generally requires a degree. ]

I like it. Can't do much with it, but--how colors hang t'gether, how t'lay 'em out...I get that.