versusnurture | eleven ♢ spam, private + open

spam } open

[The mask is secured in her room before she goes anywhere. She goes back to check on it frequently, bordering on obsessively, straightening it in its place of pride hung above her desk. She wonders what it's like to live life, day in, day out, in a few square feet, never allowed to breathe free air but through that grille. It's so much easier to imagine through Hannibal's eyes than Will's. She never imagined it would be.]

[She knew there was another man here who went by his name, but he never seemed real. Now - even though this artifact was never his - now it feels like a real, possible future.]

[What she doesn't do is lose time. She walks with even breath and utter confidence, anywhere and everywhere, feeling the simple joy of movement. She is afraid of nothing. She looks people in the eye, even if only for fleeting moments as she passes, and she doesn't even consider pulling a scarf on over the scar on her neck.]

spam } alana

[There's no way Alana doesn't have questions. Abigail doesn't feel obliged to protect many people, but Alana - she's been lied to all this time. Longer than Abigail was lied to. Hannibal was a colleague. And now . . .]

[There are probably worse ways to find out, but Abigail can't think of any. Besides death at his hands, anyway.]

[After a silent struggle with her conscience, she grabs the keys to Alana's room and hurries there, letting herself in before she can change her mind.]

spam } ben

[Eventually, she finds herself in the chapel. She has no question that Ben knows what's happened, or at least that something's happened. There was that brief moment of breathlessness, open for all to see on the network, and he'll have seen that even if he didn't watch her go with Dillon later.]

[She sits cross-legged in the pew and looks clear-eyed at the opposite wall. After quite a while - an hour, she thinks, maybe a little bit more - she sends him a message.]

Need your help with something. Not an emergency. You can walk.

[Then she turns the communicator off, lays it beside her, and waits.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[His face shows slight puzzlement.] If they killed him, what would it matter what you knew of him? He's dead.

[Really, he's trying to puzzle this out, give him a second.] Did you stop being useful?

[She arches a brow.] They wanted to know if I helped him. If I knew where the other bodies were. They wanted to bring justice to all those girls.

[The second question makes her frown sharply. She shrugs again.] Depends who you ask, I guess.

[He scoffs softly. He has an extremely low opinion of justice and people's motivations in general.] They wanted to punish you in his stead then.

[He considers something for a moment. There is something under the surface to what she's saying that's bothering him. He's just not sure what it is.]

They should have realized that if you helped him or knew the locations of bodies, you would never admit it.

[he shakes his head faintly and sighs.]

[Slowly, she smiles. It's actually gentle. He's paranoid, but he's the kind of paranoid that understands her motivations perfectly.]

That's what I thought at the time, yeah. And I never did admit it. Not to the cops, anyway.

Good.

[Because admitting to things like that is stupid. Funny thing is he doesn't even question that she probably helped. He's pretty sure she did because that's what you do when you survive.]

They wouldn't understand.

[Damn right it is. Thank you, Royce. You are acceptable.]

Not many people do. Are you saying you do?

[He shrugs faintly.]

I understand survival.

[He opens his mouth, pauses, realizing he's about to say something halfway personal. Then decides to say it anyway.]

My earliest memory is fighting a dog for food.

[She purses her lips, nods.]

I never had to survive like that. I just had to not get killed.

It isn't much different.

It seems different. Less . . . right. At least where I'm from. Less excusable.

[She sighs.]

It would be nice to be excused. [But also maybe not. It's difficult to say how happy she'd be if she wasn't in danger of being strung up for her father's crimes, for her own participation.]

Food came hand in hand with not getting killed. [he shrugs. Meaning, kill dog get food. kill friend get food.]

It's only worth being excused if you did it. There's no one left to hunt me, I obliterated those bridges. [Merrick is still breathing but they have an understanding.]

[She pauses, watching him.]

I'm physically stronger than I was, now. [Meaning she wasn't nearly strong enough, before.] Although I should have been smarter.

But then, hindsight, I guess.

Then it won't happen again. You won't let it.

A... friend sent me to prison for murder, ironically, not a murder I actually committed. He's smarter than me, always was, but I'm more skilled. All the intelligence in the world won't stop a well placed blade from someone you never saw coming.

Then it's a matter of balance. Of cunning and strength.

Something like that.

I'm still working on balance, in that case. A little wobbly. [She grins wryly.] I need training wheels. Does your world have those?

No, but I understand the concept. I never had the luxury, not exactly.

I understand that's what some people think this place is for. I don't know if I believe it, exactly.

Training wheels for what? I know how the world works and how to survive. I don't need-- [He stops himself.] My methods work.

Well. Mine got me killed. That's all I know.

[He gets a strange look as he realizes something. Technically, so did his if not for...]

[He covers his face with his hands, sighs and mutters] I'm going to stab him.

[She raises her eyebrows.]

You're going to stab . . . ?

Hadrian. I don't know how, but this is his fault.

That doesn't even make sense. Sorry, but it doesn't.

[It makes sense in his twisted head, okay. He sighs.]

Things were fine until I met him. I never questioned how the world worked beyond what worked for me. The moment I start questioning I find myself here.

[Hadrian got his goodness on him. icky caring.]

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versusnurture - 2014-02-16 02:27 (UTC) - Expand

worthyofalittlework - 2014-02-17 00:41 (UTC) - Expand