versusnurture | fourteen ♢ text & audio & spam

spam } open

[She wakes up screaming at what is, relatively speaking, three in the morning. It's a nightmare, the first really bad one since she died. She tries to remember what it was, what exactly, but it's all a blur; she remembers screaming in the dream, too; she remembers a lure; she remembers blood, lots of blood; she remembers a song. Ein Männlein steht im Walde . . . She remembers not being able to breathe. She remembers her mouth was full.]

[The first few nights, she calls people. She asks for help. After that, she wanders the halls, unable to get back to sleep, unwilling to lie in the dark any longer. Her hair is tied back, a scarf tucked around her shoulders, but her scar still stands out against the pale clamminess of her neck.]

audio } ben

[Night one, she calls Ben. She is crying, her voice muffled (she is using the bear as a pillow, as something with which to dry her tears).]

I'm not hurt. [She has to clarify this first, so he doesn't fear for her, so he doesn't hurt for her. This is how she protects him.] But I need you. Please. If - it's not too late.

audio } blight

[It's instinct to contact him. Maybe it's bad instinct. But it's what she reaches for the second night, once she's calmed herself down enough that she's no longer hyperventilating. Once she feels mostly human again.]

[It's midnight. She sounds as chipper as if it was noon.]

What do you know about brain chemistry?

text, filtered away from hannibal } public, april 7

who has nightmares

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Fair point.

[But that does leave him in a weird position of being even more unsure of what to do now than he was initially. If there's one thing new thing he's learned to resent about his creator and his limited range of emotions, it's the fact that he's still really not sure how to handle these sort of situations.]

Would you like to visit the CES?

[That seems like a reasonable thing to suggest. A distraction, somewhere that isn't the Barge.]

[She almost says no. Maybe it would be better to be alone, to stew in her own confusion. But that wouldn't really be fair to David, who is at the very least trying, and she doesn't want him to be uncomfortable. So she nods and puts her hand in his carefully.]

Yes. I'd like that, please.

[... That is not something he's ever had to do before, and the gesture completely baffles him. He understands it, obviously, and he wonders if he would have been surprised by it had it happened earlier, if he'd been placed on a different ship or in a hospital, or literally anywhere but Prometheus. If people would have always seen him as - if not a fully reassuring presence - something close to it.

David's grip is gentle, and his hand feels more or less human - there's something subtly not quite right about the texture of his skin, and it's more room temperature warm than genuine body heat - but he still holds on and starts to lead the way up to the deck and the upper levels.

He's not sure if he should acknowledge this or not, that the gesture is probably more appreciated than she realizes. This is supposed to be about making her feel better, not how he's still caught off guard by the people who are able to see him as something more, or just different.]

[If he said something, she wouldn't mind. It's nice, sometimes, to be appreciated as someone who can love people rather than someone who can destroy. Not all the time, and her moods are capricious enough that it's hard to predict when which will happen, but right now, she is vulnerable and wants to cling to the possibility of helping other people and herself at the same time.]

[Just as she clings to his hand, though her grip loosens as she takes a cue from him. She has always seen him as something more. At the moment, she sees him as a good friend, and walks beside him with utter trust in her heart.]

[It makes him want to be worthy of that trust, so he doesn't try to pull away or needle her into talking more about why she's awake or afraid. That doesn't seem fair.

So it's a quiet walk to the CES. He unlocks the door, and is pleased to discover a quiet looking forest to explore. It's still a novelty to be here - this is only the third or fourth time he's ever been inside.]

Oh.

[She draws in her breath quietly. Usually when she was in a forest not during the daytime, it was just barely dawn; she smiles at the darkened forest and walks in, dragging David behind her by the hand.]

Are you alright?

[It's asked in the same, almost casual voice as usual as he follows, lets her lead him through the forest. He's not sure if this is a good thing or not, if it's something she recognizes.]

No.

[She says it almost dreamily, as she pulls him deeper, winding through the trees.]

I have dreams. They scare me.

But you don't scare me.

[His movements are a little too stiff to really work well trudging through uneven ground like this - it probably looks a little comical. But he keeps up like a good sport, and is momentarily glad he doesn't really have it in him to be embarrassed.]

That's flattering.

When have I ever flattered you?

[She rolls her eyes at him over her shoulder. They have always been only honest with each other; he was the first person she could be truly honest with. He ought to know.]

[Well, okay.]

Perhaps it was a poor choice in words.

[But he still appreciates it.]