Abigail Hobbs (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
versusnurture) wrote2014-05-21 11:07 pm
versusnurture) wrote2014-05-21 11:07 pm
Entry tags:
- [ ben ],
- [ ceres ],
- [ derek powers / blight ],
- [ hannibal ],
- [ harvey dent / two-face ],
- [ mindy ],
- ] or did you hunt,
- always the possibility of murder later,
- ben & the blue lady,
- capable of greatness,
- ceres is mercifulish,
- collecting dads like they're pokemon,
- collecting gothamites like they're pokem,
- couldn't protect me in this life,
- derek powers knows power,
- explain the logistics of space prison,
- gathering data,
- granted eternal bliss,
- i have seen sights & been scared,
- i will speak the truth,
- i'm worried about nightmares,
- it's people,
- some die young,
- survey says,
- there are no rosehips,
- very smart girls grow up,
- what am i now?,
- who cares i'm dead
sixteen ♢ spam & voice
infirmary spam } after mirror barge
[Dying the second time . . . honestly, it wasn't as bad. This feels like a strange thing to think, but it's most of what she thinks in those days of the death toll that feel like death isn't quite over yet.]
[The difference is, her first death, her real one, was intimate. This was a mercy, sort of, and she doesn't totally regret it, but it wasn't. It wasn't.]
[The same.]
[It wasn't family.]
[She lies back in the infirmary bed and stares at the ceiling with a soft smile. It's very impersonal here, but that's a relief in its own way, too. She's not the only person who died, not by a long shot. She's not the person most choose to focus their attentions on.]
[She can just rest.]
spam } blight
[It's a few days after everything clicks back into shape that Abigail works up the energy needed for speech. She doesn't go back to her cabin, although she sort of wants to. There are pros and cons to everything, she thinks, and the pros of staying in the infirmary outweigh the cons by far.]
[Blight is here, for example. She can see him from across the room. His presence makes her feel safe, in a backwards way, simply because she knows he isn't what he was. He will not protect her, but he will be reeling as much as anyone else. Maybe more. He doesn't seem like a man who likes to lose control.]
[One more day, and she hoists herself up out of the bed and makes her way over to his. A soft, quick smile - an exhausted one.]
Who got you?
spam } hannibal
[She knows he isn't welcome in the infirmary. That's part of the reason she stayed. But halfway through her stay, she did begin to regret it. Because . . .]
[This death lacked intimacy. That's one reason. No one sang her songs. No one told her everything was going to be all right. No one apologized. There was no sense of closure.]
[And because he frightens her at the same time he comforts her. Because the uncertainty and insecurity of her relationship with Hannibal Lecter is secured with a love that doesn't seem to die.]
[When she is well enough to walk, she walks to his cabin, and she knocks on his door.]
inmate filter } minus hannibal
I know a lot of people who are here being - punished, or whatever - they've killed people.
How many of you hunted them?
private } ceres
I'm interested in your answer especially.
[Dying the second time . . . honestly, it wasn't as bad. This feels like a strange thing to think, but it's most of what she thinks in those days of the death toll that feel like death isn't quite over yet.]
[The difference is, her first death, her real one, was intimate. This was a mercy, sort of, and she doesn't totally regret it, but it wasn't. It wasn't.]
[The same.]
[It wasn't family.]
[She lies back in the infirmary bed and stares at the ceiling with a soft smile. It's very impersonal here, but that's a relief in its own way, too. She's not the only person who died, not by a long shot. She's not the person most choose to focus their attentions on.]
[She can just rest.]
spam } blight
[It's a few days after everything clicks back into shape that Abigail works up the energy needed for speech. She doesn't go back to her cabin, although she sort of wants to. There are pros and cons to everything, she thinks, and the pros of staying in the infirmary outweigh the cons by far.]
[Blight is here, for example. She can see him from across the room. His presence makes her feel safe, in a backwards way, simply because she knows he isn't what he was. He will not protect her, but he will be reeling as much as anyone else. Maybe more. He doesn't seem like a man who likes to lose control.]
[One more day, and she hoists herself up out of the bed and makes her way over to his. A soft, quick smile - an exhausted one.]
Who got you?
spam } hannibal
[She knows he isn't welcome in the infirmary. That's part of the reason she stayed. But halfway through her stay, she did begin to regret it. Because . . .]
[This death lacked intimacy. That's one reason. No one sang her songs. No one told her everything was going to be all right. No one apologized. There was no sense of closure.]
[And because he frightens her at the same time he comforts her. Because the uncertainty and insecurity of her relationship with Hannibal Lecter is secured with a love that doesn't seem to die.]
[When she is well enough to walk, she walks to his cabin, and she knocks on his door.]
inmate filter } minus hannibal
I know a lot of people who are here being - punished, or whatever - they've killed people.
How many of you hunted them?
private } ceres
I'm interested in your answer especially.
[private]
It was necessary. Not like an animal, though. Like a surgeon cutting off frostbitten fingertips.
For the future, not for me.
[private]
[private]
There are people who are grenades.
Not predators. They don't know what they are, they have no idea that they're in the right place, at the right time, with the right knowledge to cause cascading devastation, but they are. I remove them. And the worlds keep spinning.
[private]
[She doesn't believe in heroism. Doesn't believe in altruism. She believes in profit. She believes in reason.]
[There has to be a reason.]
[private]
It's what the Gods made me for. Whenever I strayed, they remade me.
[private]
[private]
I don't even remember them, except the last time.
[She got to keep what she died with.]
[private]
[private]
[private]
[private]
[She smiles, prim, with teeth.]
So I guess that's one thing I know.