Abigail Hobbs (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
versusnurture) wrote2014-08-08 07:23 pm
versusnurture) wrote2014-08-08 07:23 pm
twenty ♢ private & spam
private/voice } ben
I want to go.
[This quiet but insistent. She wants to go. She hasn't been outside in so long. She wants to go.]
[She doesn't want to go alone, though.]
private/voice } will
[She debates not contacting him. She's still angry at what she considers to be his betrayal, but - well, he's still Will. They were still supposed to be family. And she thinks he will understand her need for quiet, for green, for whatever there is to find out there.]
Did you see what it is yet? Outside.
spam } throughout port
[Most of her time is spent with Ben or near Ben. She isn't yet confident enough to venture out on her own much, so she stays close and takes short walks away from their site.]
[She explores the woods, carefully and slowly, making sure not to disturb anything irreparably. Her father taught her how to walk without a sound, and she remembers him whenever she sees an animal. She doesn't try to hunt anything. They have enough food.]
[Occasionally she comes up behind someone and goes still, freezing like a deer in headlights, as if she expects to be reprimanded for getting so close. Occasionally she'll watch someone from a distance. Once she climbs a tree, just to get a better vantage point, and sits twenty-five feet above the ground for several hours, just because it feels nice to be above it all and the breeze is refreshing.]
I want to go.
[This quiet but insistent. She wants to go. She hasn't been outside in so long. She wants to go.]
[She doesn't want to go alone, though.]
private/voice } will
[She debates not contacting him. She's still angry at what she considers to be his betrayal, but - well, he's still Will. They were still supposed to be family. And she thinks he will understand her need for quiet, for green, for whatever there is to find out there.]
Did you see what it is yet? Outside.
spam } throughout port
[Most of her time is spent with Ben or near Ben. She isn't yet confident enough to venture out on her own much, so she stays close and takes short walks away from their site.]
[She explores the woods, carefully and slowly, making sure not to disturb anything irreparably. Her father taught her how to walk without a sound, and she remembers him whenever she sees an animal. She doesn't try to hunt anything. They have enough food.]
[Occasionally she comes up behind someone and goes still, freezing like a deer in headlights, as if she expects to be reprimanded for getting so close. Occasionally she'll watch someone from a distance. Once she climbs a tree, just to get a better vantage point, and sits twenty-five feet above the ground for several hours, just because it feels nice to be above it all and the breeze is refreshing.]
spam;
spam;
And how do you think?
spam;
I think . . . separately. And singularly.
Maybe a better word would be selfishly.
[She gives him a smile, shy, apologetic. This is not how it should be. This sweet boy shouldn't have to hear things like this about her. But she can't find it in herself to lie.]
spam;
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[She does.]
Are you selfish?
spam;
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I used to be less selfish than I am now. Maybe that's why I'm an inmate.
[Or it could be the, you know, murders and stuff.]
spam;
[Allison comes into his mind - well, she's never far from his thoughts these days - and he thinks of flourescent paint on her skin. How it felt wrong to want her but he wanted her anyway.] But it's-- You know, it's cool to want stuff for yourself sometimes, though. If you don't hurt people.
spam;
You just . . . set yourself up there. Or set me up. Which is it?
[If you don't hurt people. Her eyes are wet.]
spam;
I think I set myself up. I'm not-- This is kind of new for me, still. Trying to help. [He runs a hand through his hair. He's not a good person, not effortlessly, not like Scott or Stiles or Allison; there's too much darkness in him.] Not hurting people seems like an important part.
spam;
Did you hurt people before? Instead of helping?
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[She takes a deep breath, lets it out slowly.]
It's easy, isn't it? Just standing by.
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