Abigail Hobbs (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
versusnurture) wrote2014-08-08 07:23 pm
versusnurture) wrote2014-08-08 07:23 pm
twenty ♢ private & spam
private/voice } ben
I want to go.
[This quiet but insistent. She wants to go. She hasn't been outside in so long. She wants to go.]
[She doesn't want to go alone, though.]
private/voice } will
[She debates not contacting him. She's still angry at what she considers to be his betrayal, but - well, he's still Will. They were still supposed to be family. And she thinks he will understand her need for quiet, for green, for whatever there is to find out there.]
Did you see what it is yet? Outside.
spam } throughout port
[Most of her time is spent with Ben or near Ben. She isn't yet confident enough to venture out on her own much, so she stays close and takes short walks away from their site.]
[She explores the woods, carefully and slowly, making sure not to disturb anything irreparably. Her father taught her how to walk without a sound, and she remembers him whenever she sees an animal. She doesn't try to hunt anything. They have enough food.]
[Occasionally she comes up behind someone and goes still, freezing like a deer in headlights, as if she expects to be reprimanded for getting so close. Occasionally she'll watch someone from a distance. Once she climbs a tree, just to get a better vantage point, and sits twenty-five feet above the ground for several hours, just because it feels nice to be above it all and the breeze is refreshing.]
I want to go.
[This quiet but insistent. She wants to go. She hasn't been outside in so long. She wants to go.]
[She doesn't want to go alone, though.]
private/voice } will
[She debates not contacting him. She's still angry at what she considers to be his betrayal, but - well, he's still Will. They were still supposed to be family. And she thinks he will understand her need for quiet, for green, for whatever there is to find out there.]
Did you see what it is yet? Outside.
spam } throughout port
[Most of her time is spent with Ben or near Ben. She isn't yet confident enough to venture out on her own much, so she stays close and takes short walks away from their site.]
[She explores the woods, carefully and slowly, making sure not to disturb anything irreparably. Her father taught her how to walk without a sound, and she remembers him whenever she sees an animal. She doesn't try to hunt anything. They have enough food.]
[Occasionally she comes up behind someone and goes still, freezing like a deer in headlights, as if she expects to be reprimanded for getting so close. Occasionally she'll watch someone from a distance. Once she climbs a tree, just to get a better vantage point, and sits twenty-five feet above the ground for several hours, just because it feels nice to be above it all and the breeze is refreshing.]
[ Private ]
Action instead of reaction requires more strength. A different kind of strength, one that makes security possible even in adversity.
Can you explain to me about the nightmares?
[ Private ]
[Explain about the nightmares. Okay. She can do that.]
While I was with him. With Hannibal. I didn't dream. I barely - I don't know if I slept. Much. But now I'm dreaming again. About all those girls, and about Alana, and - darkness.
[She laughs, low and hollow.]
Something coming to get me in the darkness. The boogeyman. I don't know.
[ Private ]
[She chastises herself for foolishness but he answers immediately, without hesitation. She is strong like that and more. He knows because he's seen it, but she won't believe him right now, not about herself and not about his motives. It will take time.
Everything takes time.]
We've talked about something similar to this before. Do you remember?
[ Private ]
[Her voice is all impotent confusion, loss.]
We talked about lots of things. We talked about everything.
[ Private ]
Sometimes, merely knowing that something is what it is can give you the tools you need to defy the fear it causes in you. Sometimes not.
We can start there, if you like.
{Again.]
[ Private ]
So what is . . . what it is? Where are we starting? There are so many different threads, Ben, it's so hard to unravel.
[She doesn't remember the last time she's begged for help like this.]
[ Private ]
[He knows very well, recognizes the plea in her voice; not from her, but from himself. We never should have left. Everything made sense there.
They have time, and he knows the one thing he needed to hear, then, and never did:]
You don't have to unravel it alone. I will help you find the ends.
For now, what it is, is we are going to go down to this planet and see what there is to see. We will camp, we will hunt, and we will see where that takes us.
[ Private ]
[She can do that. One little thing at a time. She can do that. She won't be afraid.]
I can be patient. I promise.
[ Private ]
I will put in the request with the Admiral, and meet you on the deck.