Entries tagged with the broken face

fourteen ♢ text & audio & spam

spam } open

[She wakes up screaming at what is, relatively speaking, three in the morning. It's a nightmare, the first really bad one since she died. She tries to remember what it was, what exactly, but it's all a blur; she remembers screaming in the dream, too; she remembers a lure; she remembers blood, lots of blood; she remembers a song. Ein Männlein steht im Walde . . . She remembers not being able to breathe. She remembers her mouth was full.]

[The first few nights, she calls people. She asks for help. After that, she wanders the halls, unable to get back to sleep, unwilling to lie in the dark any longer. Her hair is tied back, a scarf tucked around her shoulders, but her scar still stands out against the pale clamminess of her neck.]

( private for ben & derek powers )

text, filtered away from hannibal } public, april 7

who has nightmares

Entry tags:

nine ♢ spam

spam } zero, saturday 23-tuesday 26

[Forty-eight hours after she walks into Zero, Ben lets her have visitors. She won't ask anyone who enters to leave - she knows, in an abstract way, that a lot of people will be angry about what she's done. They should be. And for the time being, she can distance herself from public opinion, at least for the most part.]

[Her responsiveness varies based on who comes to see her, how in the moment she can manage to be when they come in. Whether she's been drifting beforehand. But she tries, at least, to look people in the eye and answer them.]

( spam } zane )

spam } tuesday 26-thursday 28

[After which she spends most of the rest of the week in her room. It's partially hiding, partially trying to remember how to think straight.]

[On Thursday she only loses time once, and only for a few minutes. She feels grounded, then, enough to walk to the dining hall and back - a concerted effort. She's still terrified, probably more so than before. But it has to happen sometime.]

fifth ♢ private + voice + spam

( private | ben )

public } voice

[She cuts the feed on, then off. On/off, on/off, in strange but rhythmic patterns like Morse code.]

[She's fishing. Questions, accusations will come - she remembers that much from last time, with her real father, with Garret Hobbs, the Shrike. She wants them now. She doesn't want to wait.]

public } spam

[She doesn't change her routine, not even slightly. Which is not to say she's not afraid: she's terrified. There's no Freddie Lounds here to publicly doctor this story, to minimize her shame. Even if there was, she honestly isn't sure she'd want that anymore.]

[So she walks the halls and accepts what comes, goes to the art room, goes to lunch, visits Ben on his shift. Sometimes she goes to the CES and forgets where she is and how time passes. Hours and hours go by as she sits under a tree with her knees pulled up to her chest.]

[This is the only vulnerability she shows, and it is accidental.]

( private )

fourteen ♢ text & audio & spam

nine ♢ spam

eighth ♢ private + spam

fifth ♢ private + voice + spam

fourth ♢ spam