versusnurture | twenty-nine ♢ private & video

private } ben

[She's shaking-angry when she goes to sleep, but when she wakes up the next morning, it's like everything's gone. Resentment lives under her skin, but she isn't consumed anymore, like she might go up if the flame of her anger isn't doused. She feels safe. She feels whole.]

[She gets up, goes to the bathroom, washes her face and brushes her teeth on autopilot. She's already gotten used to having a bathroom off of her cabin. It's amazing how little time it took, how used she is to something that was a luxury a month ago.]

[As she turns to head out the door to meet Scott at the clinic, her fingers brush across the Go stone, Ben's item, to pick it up, to take it with her - and she freezes.]

[It's ice cold.]

[In a flash, she's dropped it on the floor, run out of her cabin, and slammed the door. She pulls out her communicator with shaking fingers, calling the only person she trusts to help her in this situation.]

Ben? I need you.

private } elena

[This is the part she was dreading. She tries not to, though. She knows that what Elena said before is true. They're both strong people, and they can only get stronger with time. Nobody can keep them down anymore.]

Elena? I need to talk to you.

video

[Everything is, in its own way, a production. Even this. She's posed herself carefully, sitting on her bed and framed in light from the window, so that she looks older, more poised than she feels. What she feels is afraid. Overwhelmed. Not ready.]

[But she has to be ready, which is why she makes herself smile like nothing and nobody can touch her anymore.]

I'm not as good at telling stories as Ben is. But I want to tell this one, if that's okay, because it's important to me. Some of you know it. If you do, I hope it's all right that I repeat it.

[She looks down for a moment, at her hands where they twist together in her lap, and then up at the camera. The smile reaches her eyes, now, because she can feel the strength coming, making her spine straighter and her breath come smoother.]

Just over two years ago now - two years ago for me - my dad died. He'd killed a bunch of girls who looked just like me, and I had helped him. Because I didn't know what else to do, mostly, and because if I didn't, he said he was going to kill me, too.

I didn't want anyone to know what I'd done. I didn't want anybody to think badly of me. I worked so hard to keep myself safe that I ended up killing somebody else, and then . . .

Some of you remember Hannibal.

[She clears her throat, forces her hands to flatten out on the bed beside her.]

It's so easy to trust the wrong person. It's so easy. I trusted so many of them, and I got so many people hurt. I want to apologize, but most of the people I hurt are gone now. For those of you who are still here, I'd take it back if I could. I'm sorry for making the wrong decision.

But I'm not sorry for surviving.

[Now her eyes blaze with confidence, her words coming stronger with every breath.]

Ben saved my life. You all saved my life. So thank you. I'm going now.

I'm going to kill Hannibal.

[She hopes beyond hope that he comes back here. But that part she won't say out loud, just biting her lip, smiling, waving - and killing the feed.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[He's not sure how he feels about what she's going to do. She can graduate, and still want to kill. It doesn't - it doesn't sit well with him, but it doesn't sit poorly, either. If anyone deserves to die - really deserves it, no matter who's judging - it's the people who did this to Abigail. And after what happened, when he first arrived - he's not sure he could blame her at all. He never wants to see a tableau like that again.

But he can put that aside, all of it, because he's so happy for her. She's free. She can leave, she can do what, whatever's best for herself. He's smiling when he turns on the feed.]

Can I come see you first?

[She beams at him. He's the first person she really believed in, really believed was here for her, besides Ben. The first good person she decided she could take at his word.]

I'm not leaving without saying goodbye to you.

Good. I'd be like, so hurt. [He says it like a joke, but it's totally the truth. And he is getting up to head her way, communicator still in hand.]

I'll be right there. [Seriously, right there, there's even a little extra fast movement clear in the background before he kills the feed to knock at her door.]

[She opens the door wide and bursts out into his arms, burying her face in his shoulder and hugging him around the middle. A few tears leak out, even. She's happy - she really is - but too emotional, too, losing control a little bit after her declaration to the Barge.]

I'm going to miss you so much.

[He's ready for her. Well, mostly ready; he drops his communicator to the floor, but he stays steady and wraps his arms tight around her shoulders. He can smell it all on her - the emotion, the mix. It's too much to sort out, and he doesn't want to. It feels like intruding. Instead, he drops his head, lets the scent of her hair fill his nose instead.]

Me too.

[His voice is thick, and he swallows hard to get past it.]

We need some kind of Barge Facebook. So we can keep in touch. And you can visit, okay? Not here - I mean, you can, I guess, if that's even-- I meant, Beacon Hills, if the Admiral can do that.

[He doesn't want this to be goodbye forever, and he's struggling to get that out.]

Don't cry, Scott. If you start crying then I'll start crying and I can't cry, not today, okay?

[She squeezes him tightly and backs off, away, her eyes still wet but a watery smile on her face.]

That's not the kind of goodbye this is, Scott. It's not a forever goodbye. I have so much time now, and I have so many things I want to do, and seeing you is one of them. [She scoffs.] Like I could just leave you behind. Please.

[He smiles when she pulls back, and then he laughs, and his nose tickle-burns, that way it does right before his tear ducts start stinging. So he blinks, because she's right, he can't cry today, she shouldn't cry today, she should be looking at the world at her feet and grinning. He hopes she never stops smiling.]

Good. [He sounds honestly relieved, and immensely pleased.] Cause I'm definitely going to be looking for you, when I have to study for the SATs.

I'll teach you everything I know. I always do amazing on standardized tests.

[It seems like such a crazy thing to be talking about, here on the Barge, surrounded by monsters and friends and some people who are both. But it makes her smile, all the same, and it makes her feel safe, like her life is only just beginning and she has somewhere real to go to.]

You know you made all the difference, right?

[It's normal, and it's easy, and it's all the things he never knew he liked until they got buried by weirder, scarier things. He grins, but it's quickly ruined by the way his eyebrows shoot up, the surprise that takes over his face.]

Me?

[On a sudden whim - the grin comes back - he picks her up and turns them in a circle before putting her back down.] I didn't do anything. It was always you.

I know I did most of it, [she says, exasperated, because she wants to say thank you, damnit.] But I never trusted anybody like I trusted you. It helped, that you didn't give up on me. That you let me take my time.

I mean it. [She shakes him a little to punctuate her point.] Don't forget all the good you can do. Never forget that. And you'd better never forget me, either.

[He ducks his head a little, and his smile gets smaller but no less sincere. It feels - he's never been out to get thank yous, or accolades, but it feels good, to know he helped. It feels really good.]

Abigail, I don't think I could forget you even if I wanted to. [And he'll never want to.]

I won't forget any of it.

Good. You better not.

[She squeezes him again, and then, as though in afterthought, plants a kiss on his cheek.]

[And he grins like a doofus.]

I'll come visit, one day.

Only once I fix everything, pleased.

[Hannibal would probably try to eat a werewolf.]

You let me know, and I'll be there.

[He'd probably taste gamey.....]

twenty-nine ♢ private & video

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